Writing is My Life

Today when I woke up, I decided to get on Facebook for a few minutes and check my notifications.  I'm part of several writing groups on there that I try to keep tabs on and contribute to on occasion.  In one of these groups, I came across the post of a girl who was frustrated with the fact that there are so many people out there all too ready and willing to bash Writing as a career choice.

I know how this girl feels.  I go through the same thing.  Many writer's do.  And I guess I understand (to some degree at least) why so many people don't see it as what they like to call a "real" job.

It's because writing is different.  Upon first glance, it seems really laid back.  You go into a coffee shop, look around, and perhaps there are a dozen or so writers sitting at a table not far from you, sipping their coffee leisurely and typing away on their laptop keyboards.   Writing doesn't LOOK hard... at least upon first glance.  In fact, a lot of people think that it's something that almost anyone can do... sit at a keyboard and type.  How perfectly simple, right?

Most people don't categorize writing as a "real" job (forget about all the script writers of every movie or TV show you've ever watched, every newspaper article you've ever read, or every book you've ever bought at a bookstore).  Most people think "a real job" has something to do with hard physical labor -- after all, a lot of jobs require this.  Usually there's a time slot in which you have to go to work and clock in, stay at work to work, and then clock out of work to go home.  At some jobs there are offices and computers.  A lot of the time, though, people define a "real" job as working for somebody else who pays you money in the form of a salary or hourly wage.

Of course there are a few successful entrepreneurs out there.  Have you ever watched the show, "Shark Tank" where small business owners from all over the states come in to talk to these big corporate managers (referred to as "sharks") and try to get them interested in their little company?  These little business guys don't come in without some pretty impressive numbers/statistics and past success stories to show.  They've made it on their own so far, and now they are ready to take their companies further, and they are willing to offer shares in the company for the help and money they need to succeed.

But, you know how it goes, right?  Those successful little business men and women are the exceptions. Surely writers don't fall under that category, right?  After all, writers are only sitting down at a keyboard and typing... and typing... and typing.  Anyone can do that.  It doesn't pay money... what's the point?  Writers just need to go find real jobs where they work for someone else, doing someone else' dirty work, and getting paid minimum wage for all of their hard labor.  That's just how life goes.

Well, maybe so.  Maybe writers do need another job on the side to keep them floating in between paychecks, or while they are trying to get their career off the ground.  Currently I have another job on the side, and I'm looking for a second... I'm not going to bash what other people refer to as "real" jobs.  But that does NOT mean that writing is by any means "easy" or "not a real job" or "not a true career".

Why?

Because there's this:  If writing isn't a real job and publishing can be termed as "just a hobby", how in the world did all of the books we have today come into existence?  Why do so many people know how to read?  And why is reading so important in today's society?

I have personally come to this conclusion.  Many people don't think of writing as a "job" or "carreer" because #1) they don't understand it, #2) they have never tried it themselves, and #3) even if they have tried it before, they weren't really serious about it.

The serious writers know better.  Writing is not something that you can just "pick up and go" with.  If you are serious about making it in the writing world, the first and foremost thing you have to do is write without complaint and without exception.  Write everything you can think of at any moment that you have to spare.  Even while you're working on other projects, keep thinking about writing and what you are going to write next.  And keep writing no matter what... even when you are tired.  Even when you have no ideas.  Even when you are sick and just want to curl up in a ball and not talk to anyone.  YOU HAVE TO WRITE.

Though writing looks easy, it's actually not.  Writing, like painting, may seem like play at first -- there are all these pretty colors and inspirations floating through the air!  Type them out as fast as you can and hope that it turns into something extraordinary!  But what happens when the inspiration goes away, and you have a deadline coming up, and you HAVE to finish writing this ONE particular scene that you absolutely have no idea what to do with?  What happens when you've finished a rough draft and go back and realize that most of what you've written is crap and wouldn't make it in the marketing world of today, but you still think it's a good story and you know someone will want to read it so you start to re-write?  What happens when you have a finished manuscript in your hands and the only way the public is going to see if is either if you start querying large companies to look at your work or take matters into your own hands and do the whole thing yourself which costs lots of time and money and energy and work???

The 2 biggest things I've noticed that serious writers have on their side are their determination and their ability to think.  In fact, thinking is one of our strongest assets... because you don't have a story if you can't think of one, and you'll never finish writing that difficult scene if you don't think of a way to solve your problem.  Speculative Fiction writers are known for creating entire WORLDS and races and new species and rules that all have to work together seamlessly in order for the story to make sense.  And you have to have characters that feel and sound like real people, and act that way too.  All of the aspects in a story have to work together like clockwork, even when something bad happens... You can't break the rules you make for the story, you can't have people breaking character, and even the unbelievable things have to have a sense of believability about them.  Doing and creating all of this does not require ONLY writing (though that is probably the biggest part of it); it also requires lots and lots of researching and studying every aspect of the writing process in order to more fully understand how to write WELL, and not just write something.  (yes, there is a difference).

And as far as determination goes, I've seen so many writers who have been beset by doubters and who have heard over and over that they should forget writing as a career... that it is only a hobby, and that they may never find success.  In fact, I've had people like this in my life too.  But I've watched these writers rise above the condemnation of the masses, and succeed where no one said they could.  It's not such an unheard of story.  In fact, it grows more common every day.  Just look up Amanda Hocking or Joe Konrath if you don't believe me.  Just look up any of the authors that you enjoy reading.  Writers are proving to the world that they are important, and that it doesn't matter what the doubters and naysayers claim, they can succeed.

There is one more thing that comes with serious writing.  It's a sense of being compelled almost to the point of insanity to sit down and ink words onto paper in the form of a story or tale.  Serious writers know this feeling, and they will tell how it haunts them every hour of every day of their lives.  For us, writing is not just a passion... it's a drive.  We simply cannot possibly comprehend a world where we could not sit down for however short a time to write out the stories burbling up inside of us.  We would explode if we were forced to pen them in.  Writers have to pour their hearts, minds, and souls into their writings -- they have to give it EVERYTHING they have, or the work simply isn't good enough.  Writers know this.  It's why we so vehemently stand behind quotes like, "There is nothing to writing; all you have to do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."  This is true.  It's so true.  Serious writers bleed their entire lives into their work, and it frustrates us when others look at our pain-bought triumphs yet can't see the amount of effort and hard work it took to create them. How can people not see the scars we've procured, not notice the pain in our eyes, or the way we have changed while writing something?  People enjoy reading the products of our sleepless nights spent in a typing frenzy when they can simply pick the books off a shelf and go buy them... and yet somehow to them writing is not a REAL job.

Well, for heaven's sake, why not?!?  If you love something enough, and are passionate about it enough, and enjoy it, and are driven to it enough, why can't you learn to make money from it too???  Because personally, I think that if more people decided to choose a path in college that they are apt to enjoy instead of one they think will make them money fast, people would discover that it is possible to make a living off of something that makes you happy, and employers would be more happy with their employees' performances.  

In many ways, writing is much more REAL than people can imagine.  It is much harder than people can possibly comprehend.  It consumes those who follow it as a career choice, and yes, it is possible to become successful at it.  Because writing is far more than just a job, or a career choice, and it's much much more than just a hobby... it's a way of life.

My Top Ten Writing Quirks

Hello Bloggy friends! ^_^  Today I decided to lighten the mood a bit and just sort of "go with the flow".  I have a couple of other posts in the making, but they're taking longer than I'd like and I wanted a break, so I decided to write down the top 10 quirks I have as a writer.  I got the idea from an interview with Anne Elizabeth Stengl over here:

http://rinasreading.blogspot.com/2013/07/dragonwitch-release-day-blog-tour-anne.html.

It seemed like such a neat idea, I decided to do one of my own.  And you might notice, that some of our quirks are similar, but that's not on purpose... its just the truth of it. :)

So here we go in no real order whatsoever. :)

1) No music or noise around.

I don't know why, but I've never been able to listen to music as I write.  I think it's because I have to hear the words I'm putting down on paper in my head as I type them.  Sometimes I can listen to soft music in the background, but usually they have to be strictly instrumental and the language cannot be in English or I get distracted by listening to the lyrics.  I have actually created a play-list for two of my stories in my media player, but I don't listen to them as I type; instead I listen to them as I'm doing other things to sort of help me keep in mind the mood of my story and what it is about.  But I've never been able to give my stories or my characters songs of their own... it just doesn't work.

Also, if there is other noise around or things happening around me, unless I'm left alone and completely zone out (which doesn't happen often) I simply can't concentrate.  I've tried, but it so rarely actually works, that half the time I just don't write if there's any noise around.

2) I write best when I'm supposed to be doing something else.

This is sort of a dirty little secret of mine. *blush*  I think it's the procrastinator in me.  But if there's something else I'm supposed to be doing, I'll often leave my lap-top open on a table or counter-top nearby so that I can write something down quick if it comes to me suddenly.  I've found that a lot of my favorite stuff has come to me while in the middle of doing the dishes or folding laundry or something like that.  I used to do this with a pen and notebook, but over the years it became harder for me to write out actual scenes long-hand.  Ideas are fine, but not scenes.  I don't know why.  Besides, its easier not to smudge the writing with dish-hands when you use a computer instead of paper. :)

3) Standing up while typing helps ideas flow.

This one is tied with #2.  I like to sit down and type, of course, but I've found that there's something about standing up to type that just makes the ideas come better.  I'm not sure if the standing helps with focus or what... it just seems to work.    I'm hoping that once I get moved out and have a new writing area designated and decorated to my liking, I'll be able to focus better while sitting down. lol!

4) Brainstorm out loud

I do this a lot.  Especially while I'm working on something else.  Or driving.  I'll talk and mutter to myself about ideas, sometimes even speaking out a scene sentence by sentence as it comes to me.  I even pace sometimes while muttering.  Then I'll pause to go and write down what I just said.  For a while I started carrying around a pocket voice recorder to help me with this... I still do this, but the words never come as easy when I'm trying to record them.  Instead, I use the recorder to try and talk through issues I'm having with my stories.  I don't dictate scenes into the recorder... instead I sort of have a one-way interview with myself about the different aspects of the story and how it all works together and what's supposed to happen and what isn't happening... that sort of thing.  Any ideas I have while recording, I can then play back and listen to later to use in my stories. :)

5) Journal instead of Outlining

I used to say I was a Pantster through and through.  I don't think that's quite as true anymore.  I no-longer just sit down and write everything as it comes to me... instead, I sit and jot down plot points and ideas and thoughts and character names and so forth.  I make notes of important parts of the story, but I try to leave things relatively vague so that the story has room to tell itself.  Then, as I'm writing the story through, if I come to a block or need help with a scene or a character, I journal about it.  It's sort of like how I record one-way interviews with myself, only this time I actually write the stuff out.  It does look sort of like diary entries... and they usually start out something like, "Ok, I just had a really cool idea... what if..." or like "Ugh!  I'm having trouble with so-and-so... he just won't do what he's supposed to!..."  And yeah, I end up fighting with my characters a lot this way, but I also have found that I work through the story problems much better when I can sort of ramble about them to myself or to someone else, whether it's on paper or recorded.

6) I almost never write an actual scene long-hand... almost never.

Very true.  I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime over the past 10 years or so, I've lost the ability to think in the terms of a "scene" when I'm writing long hand.  I can journal, I can write poetry... sometimes I can write blog-posts or parts of short stories, but only very rarely can I actually get myself to write an actual scene from one of my stories long-hand.  I don't know why.  Sometimes I force myself to do it, just to see if I can get the creative juices flowing (and every once in a great while, doing this helps me break through a block), but a lot of the time the scenes just seem shallow and no where near as good as the idea itself.  Besides, I can type almost as fast as I can think, and that's a big help when it comes to writing scenes for my books.

7) I absolutely WILL NOT skip ahead

Also very true.  I just can't force myself to skip ahead and write a scene out of order.  Instead, I add comments to my documents and write notes out in notebooks to remind me of future scene ideas.  If I get stuck in a scene, I'll sit and stare at my document for hours, days, even weeks on end trying to figure out what's going on and why I can't seem to move forward, but I won't write a scene before its time.

I think this has to do with figuring out the story.  You can't write something if you don't know it... if my story won't move forward, then something must be wrong somewhere, and I should go back and find out what it is and fix it before moving on.  That will help the flow too. :)

8) I have a list of novels I go to when I need help with a scene

My bookshelves are stacked with all kinds of books, but I have one section in particular that I keep close to the front for easy access.  I use the books in this section to help me when I run into problems with certain scenes.  Some of the books have pencil markings in the margins that mark notes and wording and character or scene development that I admire.  (I don't like writing in books too often, so when I do, I use a light pencil so it's easily erased.)  Just the other day I used some of these books... I was having trouble with a scene where my character was thrown into a dungeon, and I was drawing a blank as to what a good dungeon scene might look like.  So I went over, pulled a few of these books down, and flipped through them... I read several chapters of dungeon scenes and made notes in a notebook I had beside me, and when I was done, I had a pretty good idea of how I was going to finish the dungeon scene in my own story. :D

9) I am most active in writing at night

I wake up at night... sort of "come alive".  No, I'm not a vampire, but I definitely get more alert as the sun goes down.  I'll sit up and write or read or do some other sort of activity until I start getting drowsy around 2 or 3am, and sometimes I'll just read until I fall asleep with the book lying on my face, or type until I doze off with my head on the keyboard.  I'm not sure why this is, but I definitely write more productively late at night.

10) I like making up new creatures and cultures

I'm all for using the original mythological creatures and so forth... the fairies, the elves and dwarves and goblins and so forth... (In fact, in several of my books I'm sticking with the fae people and not trying to get to elaborate with my own made up stuff) but I really do like to make up my own. :)

Some of my own creations are similar to the originals with different traits or personality types that the originals never had... like in one of my stories, I have some elvish looking creatures called the Kirri who are actually more like dwarves personality wise... they are tall and slender, graceful and fair, but they live underground in their mines in the mountains, and their love is for stone and earth and precious metals and (for some reason that I never understood, but still knew to be true) water.  Especially running water.

Then you have the creatures that are totally made up from the get-go... like the Swarns in "Eldrei", or the Corvi in "Song of the Daystar".  There's just something that I find completely and utterly fun about creating a creature and culture that has never been used or seen before.


So there ya have it.  My top 10 writing quirks.  What are some of your writing quirks?  Are some of them similar to mine or are they totally different?  Why not blog about it.  If you leave a link to your post in the comments, I'd be interested to check them out. ^_^

The Writing Fairies Have Come Back! :D

Hello friends! :)

I've been gone a long time.  A lot of things have happened.  A lot still is happening.  Last weekend was probably one of the most eventful and crazy times of my life.  I was supposed to go to the ren-faire here in central Illinois, and I had been working to finish two dresses, one for me and one for a friend.  I stayed up all night the night before to finish, and was so proud of my work!  But then, as I was driving to pick up one of my friends for the fair, I fell asleep behind the wheel, woke up too late to stop in time, ran a stop sign, jumped a curb, and flew into the ditch.  No other cars were involved, thank God!  But I was pretty banged up afterward, and now I'm in need of a car yet again (the one I had apparently can't be fixed... I'm still hoping, but things don't look too wonderful for it).  Also, the EMT's had to cut my ren-dress a bit as I was being taken to the hospital, so now I have to fix that too. lol!  Oh the troubles of life!  I'm just very thankful to be alive!

Also, I'm moving!  That's something exciting at least. Lots of interesting stuff to go through and pack, and at least half of it I forgot that I owned. lol!  I'm moving an hour away to Peoria Illinois, where I will be staying with an older lady and her family.  I've known her for most of my life, and feel really comfortable and safe staying there.  She has an economy apartment on the second floor of her house which I will be renting, and she's pretty much letting me have full reign on decorating.  I can't WAIT to post pictures of how it will look once everything is in it's place!  It will be absolutely FANTASTIC!!!! :D

In other news, MY WRITING FAIRIES HAVE COME BACK!!!  It's been a long time since they've visited me, and my books have shown the strain.  But now, I've written almost 3k extra words in SOTD in the last two weeks alone (which may not seem like a lot to anyone else, but which is a definite improvement from the dead standstill the book was at before), AND I've started brainstorming and outlining for a possible 20k novella to be entered in a contest come the end of December.  I'm thinking the novella will probably be my Nano piece this year.  It's the first year since 2009 that I'll be working on a brand new story during Nanowrimo, and not trying to add words to SOTD.  I think the new writing project will be rather refreshing, and good practice.  My writing has been rusty lately and awkward, and this may be just what I need to get back to where I used to be when it came to working on my novel. :)

I thought maybe it would be nice to post a little bit about this new writing endeavor here on the blog.  It's been absolutely AGES since I've tried to write anything new.  I hope I can remember how to do it. lol!

The requirement for the contest is that the piece be a new take on the Cinderella fairy-tale.  I've always wanted to rewrite a fairy-tale!  I have plans to one day rewrite the story of the six swans, or maybe the story of the Snow Queen, but I haven't gotten that far yet.  However, I saw this contest as an opportunity to flex my skills and see what I could come up with. :)

My entry will be titled, "The Cinder-Beast".  It's going to mix elements of "Cinderella" and "Beauty and the Beast," and there will be a few other twists as well.  Here's a quick summary of what I'm working on so far.

****

Prince Markayle is the very last of the royal line of Aendor, heir to the throne of Tevaun, and a fugitve.  Forced to flee for his life from the evil dragon that has overrun his kingdom, Markayle is now known as the Cinder-Beast because of the Dragon's curse which renders anything he touches to fall away in cinders.  Along with this curse comes another: three long pale scars from dragon claws which completely disfigure the right side of his face and make him look like a monster.  The only reason he survived the encounter was because the fae took pity on him and healed his wounds.  Now, gifted with enchanted gloves that guard objects from his touch and a mask that hides his disfigurements from others, Markayle has set out on a journey to find a way to break his curse, banish the dragon from his kingdom, and reclaim his throne.

Marcella is a servant in the palace of Emroin.  Her job is to serve the princess Anaiya, but when Anaiya is kidnapped by an evil dragon from the north, suspicions are cast on Marcella and she is tried and banished.  Forced to wander the forests of Emroin alone, Marcella comes across a strange man in a mask and gloves.  He calls himself Kayle, and doesn't talk much.  He will not say why he wears his mask, and he will not take off his gloves.  He is searching for someone... a woman whom he was told could cure a mortal ailment he possesses which he gained from a dragon.  In him, Marcella finds her hope, and they set out to rescue Anaiya together.

But Kayle isn't everything Marcella thinks he is...

Niether is Anaiya,

And there's a secret about Marcella that she herself doesn't even know.

Only the Fae have all the answers, and they want their Changeling back.

****

So there you have it!  That's the working blurb for my new project, "The Cinder-Beast".  Please let me know what you think.  I'm having a lot of fun working on figuring out all the little details for it.  One of these days I'll have to find pictures of the characters to post.  I want to start working on a map too at some point.  I almost forgot how much fun new writing projects can be. :D

Writing Days – Making Time

For those of you who have been following the Pen and Parchment for… well, any amount of time, really… you’ve probably noticed that I am serious about the art and craft of writing.  But to me, and to many others out there who share my passion, writing really is more than just an art or a craft, or even both of those combined; it is a way of life.

However, I’ve noticed a few funny things about life recently, and the one that stands out the most is that you can’t plan it.  And you really can’t predict it.  Even when you really, really want to be able to say, “THIS is going to happen in my future!” you can’t count on your plans actually working out.  I mean, they might work out after all in the long run, but you just can’t count on that happening because it may not.  So many things can easily change plans that the future is never as predictable as we all wish it could be.

Now before any of you start to worry over the true meaning behind that paragraph, let me just say now that no, I don’t plan on ever giving up writing, and Magpie Eclectic Press is still moving forward as of now. :D

The problem I’ve actually been having with my plans has to do with the amount of time I dedicate to my writing life.  It hasn’t been very much lately… not even when I’ve totally intended it to be.  I’ve admitted before that I am a chronic procrastinator, but this pause in my writing life seems to be more than that.  And quite honestly, maybe I’m just super busy – which I suppose I am – but that shouldn’t count as an excuse.  Not if writing means as much to me as I say it does.

The truth of the matter is that if you truly, truly love writing, then you can’t have your busy schedule step in the way.  It’s so very easy to say that life is becoming too difficult or that you are too busy, but if writing is as important to you as many of my friends say it is to them, then you have to make time for your writing… period.  Even if that means cutting things out of your schedule to do so. 

Even now I don’t think I’ve fully realized just how much time I’ve compromised with excuses about WHY I don’t have time for writing.  And honestly, it disgusts me. :P

But you know what disgusts me even more?   The fact that this example of my writing life makes me think of my relationship with God and what that truly means for me.  After all, how can I be too busy for God?  How can I not have time to make time for the CREATOR of time?  If my writing life right now is anything to go by, I have to admit that my relationship with God has most definitely been suffering.  It’s so very, very easy to let things slip in and make life too complicated.  It’s so very easy to have your schedule filled up with things and events that you really don’t need to have in your schedule at all… maybe not even in your life.  All of which can easily seem to take the place of what is truly important.

And truthfully, the internet is rather addicting. *sheepish smile*   I mean, how many hours a day does the average American actually spend online?  Especially the average American college student?  Though I have no statistics to back this theory up, I think the percentage must be astounding.

So, here’s the whole thing in a nutshell.   As a writer, I can’t just claim to love writing and then never actually do it.  Writing, to those who truly love the art and who dedicate themselves to its study and betterment, becomes a business.  It becomes a way of life… a natural part of daily living.  If you don’t believe me, then ask those out there who make a living off of their writings… they will tell you the same thing.  It’s like a skill that will deteriorate if not practiced often.  That’s something I’ve come to realize.  And honestly, it’s hard for me to admit it.  I like to keep myself very busy, but my busyness tends to stand in the way of what is truly important to me.   But in all reality, if you have a love for something that deep, time must be made without exception. 

Not just for my writing life, though, but for my relationship with God as well.  If life is getting too busy, then it’s time I cut some things out of my schedule to make the proper time.  It’s time I take note of what’s essential to me as a person and as a Christian, rather than just going with the flow of everything around me.  It’s time I step up and be what I know I’m supposed to be.

But I can tell you now, it’s not going to be easy for me.  It never is.  Once you fall into a way of life – like, for example, being busy all the time – it’s like getting stuck in a rut; getting in is the easy part – perhaps even the accidental part – but getting out again is ALWAYS hard.  And I’ve said these sort of things before… by now you probably all know the drill:

“I’m going to make more time for my writing: oh, I’ve been slacking and I know I should make more time: my life with God is lacking, I need to make time…”

Yadda, yadda, yadda…

And yet here I am, feeling overwhelmed, knowing that I haven’t made that time yet, even though I said I was going to, and asking myself the question, “what is going to make the difference this time?”  It’s like the old saying goes, The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I’ve had good intentions for a long time now, but they just aren’t going to cut it anymore.  Actions speak louder than words, anyway.  It’s time I put some of my good intentions to work… not just for my writing life, but for my spiritual life as well.  Because writing may be a business and a lifestyle that I absolutely HAVE to make time for without exception, but God is more than a lifestyle: He IS my life.  Even now, when everything is crazy, I can’t just make time for Him: I have to make him my EVERYTHING… even the time that I claim I don’t have.

It’s so hard.  It really is.  It’s like, once you’re in a ditch, you have a hard time seeing the way out again.  That’s sort of how I feel… like I’m in a ditch, caught up in everything that’s happening around me and all that I have to do, and all that I claim I have to do, and I just can’t see how to get out of this way of life. 

But you wanna know something great? 

Nothing is impossible with God. 

Nothing. 

Sure, I can’t see the way out, but that doesn’t mean that HE doesn’t have a way.  After all, He makes a way where there is none.  For me, it’s hard to put everything into His hands – surrender was never one of my strong points; I’m more of a fighter who doesn’t like to back down – but surrender is definitely something I know I need to do; I need to surrender myself and my time completely to God.  I know if I give it all to Him – my writing life, school, my current lack of a job, and even my relationship with him – He will lead me out of this rut that I’ve gotten myself stuck in. 

And even though I know how easy it is to say things like that and yet not follow through, this time I really, really want to follow through.  Life feels monotone to me: my writing life is lacking, my spiritual life is lacking, and every day all I have to look forward to is the hectic schedule set before me in no certain order where a million things await my doing, and the things I truly care about seem to be pushed to the side. 

           

God help me, I don’t know how I’m going to make it anymore!  Not without help anyway.

I do know this, though: writing, to me, is more than just a hobby or a pastime… it is a way of life. It is something that I need to be doing, and I need to be doing it every day.  It needs to become a business to me, almost like publishing… a business that I truly and completely dedicate myself to with all of my heart.

And even more important than writing, God has to come first in my life.  Even with my hectic schedule, even in all of this craziness around me, I have to do more than make time for the One who is essential to my very life.  

He has to become my time. 

And He has to be my writing too.  Because now I see that that’s the only real way out of this mess.  Without God’s time, I have no time… not for writing; not for anything. 

And truthfully I say this from the bottom of my heart…

“No time” just won’t cut it anymore.